Be Back Soon
Look Up Sugar (Unfinished)
Never understood the words uttered through the speakers that reference this feeling of being free and independent while invested in someone. Never understood the confidence of knowing that someone was coming to me at the end of the day. Never accepted love and trust and allowed that to be my star. There’s a glimmer in you that I’m not sure i can describe; a glimmer in someone I have never seen before but regardless you still accept the heat from what was. We both reveal our scars from my past warfare understanding that we are the same. Your trials and tribulations look somewhat familiar to me but still I don’t understand the person that has evolved from the rubble. Instead of allowing this to shape me I’ve let it destroy me and in turn make our bond that was once stable a thing that is now ready to explode. I can’t accept that, and can no longer allow for my horrific memories to shape my future. I’ve always taken things for what they were and filtered them to benefit my maturation, but something about that glimmer in you frightens me. This glimmer makes me vulnerable in front of you and even more vulnerable from a far. I now realize that much of what my issue was with you is now issues within myself that I have asked you to fix but haven’t done the same. I always thought I could live my life be each my safety blanket only putting forth enough love for you to get by on. This amount however never made me a man and allowed me to find comfort in a lifestyle that promoted being timid. So now what?
Everyone wants to understand that freedom and inference that love can provide but ate afraid to take the risky and dangerous steps that lead you to that. We can no longer continue like this and we shouldn’t accept this situation. The potential of this situation is astronomical and is a type of potential that would see both of us at complete peace and happiness, something that we both want at the end of the day. Our future lies within my palms and it’s now my turn to play my part and steer our relationship to what it needs to be. Time to let go of the mistakes and heartbreak that can’t with my youth and move forward with the woman of my dreams. Allowing my past to hinder our love is a sin and one should never affect the other..
We are both wounded individuals, seeking help and nursing from the other. We thrive off our bond and our love but allow our memories to haunt us and whisper over our left shoulder. We know the road we face and know that we cannot make it in this manner. I must sever all ties that I have to what was a d brainwash myself so that all memories ooze from my mind.